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I'm having a "crisis" of sorts.  My second cousin just had a baby today.  She's 22.  I'm about to turn 29.  I don't have a baby.  I don't have anyone.  At least it feels like it most days.  I'm tired of being alone.  I'm tired of going to bed every night alone.  I'm tired of waking up every morning alone.  I'm tired of being the only one responsible for the household crap, be it laundry, taking out the garbage, or cleaning.  And part of me is ridiculously sad that I will never have a baby.  I will never be a mother and there's a big part of me that is sad.  I know my decision to not have a baby is a smart one.  I can barely support myself let alone another human.  Not to mention I have no patience for kids and I know I'd be a terrible parent.  But some days I still want one.  I still want to fall asleep with my baby on my chest.  And I still want to know what it's like to love someone unconditionally like that.  

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