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Knees

So yesterday Bob and I went to the Yankee game (they lost, Bob is a jinx and never allowed at another game).  Since he had the day off we decided to head up early and wander around.  So we spent a few hours in Central Park and I realized how out of shape I really am.  Anyway, on the way home we got off the subway at the wrong stop and had to walk 20 blocks.  About half way through my left knee started to hurt a bit.  I figured it was probably just because I had been on my feet all day and I'm not really used to it anymore.  By the time we got to MSG, it was slightly worse but not horrible.  Until I started going down the stairs.  I nearly collapsed, I was in so much pain.  It's been on and off since then mostly when I walk up and down stairs.  At one point my right knee started hurting too but I realized I must have hit it because when I pressed down it hurt worse.  So anyway my left knee still hurts today.  I've been trying to walk without bending it but I'm not sure how much it's helping.  It's weird because I can sit with my knee bent and bend it while I'm standing still but if I try to walk on stairs, forget it.  I'm practically in tears.  I know I should go to the doctor but I really can't pin-point the pain and it's not constant so I don't really see a point yet.  I suppose I'll have to live with it for the time being and hope it gets better.  Or worse so I can go to the doctor and not look like a hypochondriac.
I'm not strong enough anymore. 
So today I finally called and cancelled my vacation in September.  I also booked my wedding week for February 1st-7th.  The wedding will hopefully be on the 3rd as I've also called the Disney people and gave all my info.  I'm just waiting for a coordinator to call back.  Then I will officially have a date and time for my wedding.  Although I've been really confused about some things lately being able to call and talk to someone made things less confusing.

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Feb. 16th, 2008

 I had my very first wedding nightmare last night.  It included Bill and Hilary Clinton and a church.  Basically I was at church and was supposed to be putting on my wedding dress for pictures with a bunch of other girls but I didn't have a dress.  All I kept saying was 'but I'm not getting married for a year.  I don't need a dress yet.'  And everyone looked at me like I was crazy.  Do you think this is a sign?  Maybe I should really start looking for a dress.

In other news, I have a new baby cousin.  Born about 20 minutes ago.  His name is Michael John... Or Dylan Michael...  I'm not sure yet. 

EDIT:  His name is Dylan Michael.  My cousin has been teaching her 3 year old his name for months and she got very angry when we called him Michael.  He's also going to be in the hospital for a few extra days since he has a heart murmur.
 i hate being a screw up....
I  changed my mind.  I don't want to plan a wedding.  It's too stressful already.  My dad agreed to pay for us to get married in Disney and he put his foot down and told my mother she had to keep her mouth shut about who I'm inviting.  I thought we'd get married on our anniversary in 2009.  Until I realized where I wanted to spend my honeymoon and that, as per Disney, it's peak season.  Thus making the room I want well over $300/night, with no chance of a discount.  Then I thought maybe I could move the date up so it's in value season.  Unfortunately that brings us too close to my dad's birthday.  Okay, so I go a little earlier still... MLK Day, and the parks will be crazy.  Not to mention Disney has a marathon every year the weekend before that.  And then I realize we can't do anything until after the middle of January anyway as Bob will probably be busy with inventory.  So now I don't know what the hell we're going to do.  Ugh.  I'm done.  I don't want a wedding anymore. 
 So, I know I've said it a time or 2 before but it is now official:


I'M ENGAGED!!!

Bob came over around 1pm and we exchanged gifts.  He got me a Yankee's hoodie, the movie Stardust, and a very beautiful diamond and sapphire circular necklace.  It just so happens the necklace matches the ring and when I said this he reached into his pocket and promptly pulled out the beautiful ring we had picked out 2 weeks ago and asked me to marry him.  He didn't get down on one knee or anything of the sort but he asked, and I cried (even though I knew it was coming), and I said yes.  All this with me in my PJs.  I haven't told anyone yet as everyone was busy being excited about Adam's engagement.  I especially decided to keep it quiet after the conversation my mother and I had this morning about people getting engaged and weddings.  It ended with me telling her that my aunt (her sister) would not be invited to my wedding if I didn't want her there.  Needless to say I don't think she was happy.  Actually I think I may go tell them now.  Just to get it over with...  I'll let you know how it goes.  

EDIT: So I just told them and my mother laughed and then made me go tell my father and then she started to cry.  Shortly thereafter she was online and looking into Disney weddings.  She's already trying to dictate my guest list for the wedding I'm not having.  This is the exact reason I don't want a wedding.  I want to be married.  That's all.  If that means we hop on a plane and fly to Vegas with Courtney and Ed, so be it.  I'm not going to compromise what I want to make them happy.  I watched my sister do it and the wedding was crap.  I'm so sick of doing everything they say and everything they want from me.  I'm expected to be at every family event and expected to just be the good little child.  I'm just so sick of it and praying I find a decent job so we can move over the summer.  Eventually we'll move to Florida and when we do, it's good bye family.  Forever. 

And here's another edit... I just realized I've never posted my ring.

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Dec. 25th, 2007

So my brother got engaged this morning...  And I'm pretty sure I'm getting engaged at some point this afternoon...  Bob and I are going to my aunt's for dinner and I figured I'd just pick him up but he kinda freaked out about it because he has something planned and it involves his car...  I'm not sure what the hell to do now.  We can't tell my parents or any of my family now.  This sucks...  And did I mention I'm sick.  Yeah, such a lovely way to start my day. 


Oh and Merry Christmas!

Dec. 15th, 2007

It's a Friday night, I'm 21.  Why am I not drunk?